Sunday, January 16, 2005

It's, uh, down there somewhere. Lemme take another look.

It's funny. I can look back on a life of achievement, on challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles overcome. I've accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs. What. . . What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?



I don't know, sir.

When I look back on the things I've done, I'm usually impressed with them. But while I'm doing things, I'm usually not too impressed with what I'm doing. I guess this is a good thing. The way I work is basically just forge forward, reflect later (in most areas of my life), and this has garnered some rather enjoyable experiences without my conscious effort. But then I wonder if I actually planned out things and executed and analyzed things at the same time, could it be that much better? I've found that even if I get more involved with different things that I can handle everything pretty much the same as if I were involved in only one or two things at a time. Which leads me to the question- where's my threshold? Could I be accomplishing so much more without knowing it? I always think I could do things better, and I rarely ever confess that I did my best job on something, which leaves room for the reasoning "well, I could have tried harder". The opposing question that arises is "well, do I really want to know where my threshold is?," because then I would "know" my limitations and might start saying "well, I've already seen that I can't do ______, so why try again?".

Inevitably, the opposing forces of reasoning balance out in my head and I'm left with an equilibrium that is almost comforting. Just keep on keeping on, I guess...

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