Monday, January 31, 2005

Major Major Major Major

Why, if research methods, a required class for psychology majors that is dedicated to the structure and execution of experiments, is a prerequisite for most higher-level psychology classes, does every class I'm in spend time going over the meaning of an independent variable?

If I were Professor D. teaching a 4000 level class, and the textbook I used found it necessary to define terms like "independent variable," I would make a white slide in my powerpoint presentation, put the words INDEPENDENT VARIABLE in big, red, gothic-styled lettering, dripping with blood, and just ask "Does anyone in this class not know what this means?" (stating it in a manner that would make it obvious that anyone who didn't shouldn't raise their hand anyway). Of course, that one kid would raise his hand, and I would have to say "See me after class" and ask him "Are you a psychology major?" Naturally, he would be, and then I'd have to recommend to him that he drop the program and find a new calling for his life. I would have to stop him from attending my class. And the faculty would praise me for my efficient methods.

Considerations (in order of likelihood) for my second major include (notice the correct absence of a colon here)

English Literature
Classical Languages, Literature and Civilization (would require a bit more work than Latin, but would probably be more prestigious)
American and Florida Studies (...meh)

and minors in Linguistics and whatever else.


  1. Caleb got picked to be on the Student Panel here during auditions. He told them he wasn't gonna play around and if a parent asks a question, he is going to answer it honestly. So they said, "Oh what do you mean?" And he says, "Well, if they ask about career chances, I'm going to say that for commercial voice, almost nobody goes on to do anything important professionally." And the admissions director says, "Yeah - we tell them that too, and they still insist on coming here!"

    And by the way, if you're going to format it like a list, I think you do need a colon. Otherwise it looks weird. I don't care what says. Mr Hammond was my last English teacher and he'd eat that website alive and crap out new advances on the cutting edge of grammatical theory.

  2. Anonymous9:40 AM



  3. Major in accounting and do my TAXES!

  4. Yeah, that textiles was just thrown in there for French Kicks.

    It's really molecular micro-bio-neutrino-pseudo-chemiphysics.

    You don't need to "do" taxes, you just... oh, wait, yeah you do. I mean, I don't have to do taxes... yet.

    And that colon usage note is absolutely 100% precious and correct. I don't care if it looks weird. I'll tell you what looks weird: Ligers.

  5. Well, the website you mentioned did not define colon usage in a formatted list. If you have a line break, you need punctuation. That's MY rule. Otherwise