Monday, January 24, 2005


Email subject: "DIS Help!"

Hey everyone,

I'm one of your fellow DIS-ers and I have a slight issue. I didn't
realize until I checked the schedule right now that I work at 9:00 am
tomorrow. Tomorrow is my 21st birthday and I was planning on going out
tonight at midnight to celebrate. If anyone would find it in their heart
to maybe switch hours with me I would so greatly appreciate it. I know
this is short notice, so thanks so much.
Stephanie F.

My fictitious email response:

Email subject: "Re: DIS Help! ...awwww"

Sadly, I have a class to attend in the morning tomorrow. Otherwise, I would gladly help you shirk responsibilities because you feel the need to celebrate (on a Sunday night, no less) attaining the arbitrary, socially-supplied age at which you're legally able to participate in activities in which you obviously have already participated.

The world does not stop and start at your convenience.

Note: I'm not really this bitter. I just enjoy thinking about people reaching the age of "adulthood" and "responsibilities" in a whirling, mindless stupor.


  1. I think this would be funnier if I could remember what DIS is. I can only think of DNS because of all the crap I've been doing with networks and hosting lately.

    Meanwhile, this young girl is hilarious. What's wrong with getting down on Monday night instead of Sunday? (I guess you can take my advice with a grain of salt, because on any given day I have nothing to do before 1 PM.) And you don't forget a silly thing like your birthday. She should have asked off ahead of time. Thirdly, she could pass out at 2 AM, roll out of bed at 8:30 and still be ready to do whatever it is that DIS is at 9.

    And I wasn't going to say it, because I know you know it's true, but you left out the best part of that quote.

  2. Yeah, I know (about the quote).

    DIS = Directed Individual Study. It's for psychology students who want to work in labs for credit, to get to know what research is like.