Monday, January 24, 2005


I used to really appreciate my theory on ultimate balance in the universe- part of it emphasizes the need to have awful experiences in order to enjoy the really good ones. I think I still appreciate it- except when the bad ones are happening.

I think you'll all enjoy this one:

I vomited.
Six times.

When I got back from one of my classes, I laid down to get a nap in, and when I woke up, I had this potent, golf-ball sized, sphere of nausea/pain right in the middle of my stomach. It wouldn't go away, and when I got up to go to my next class, I realized that I shouldn't. Then, 30 minutes later were vomits #s 1-2. The worst part is the anticipation. #s 3-4 were by far the worst, separated by a few agonizing minutes sprawled on the bathroom floor. I couldn't figure it out- all I had to eat today for lunch was a can of soup, crackers, and some juice. So, after vomit four, I was feeling slightly better (as always happens), and I assumed it was over.

Nope. Vomits 5 + 6 were bad because I didn't have much food left in my stomach. Just some really forceful heaves and 2-3 ounces of material.

In the midst of it, I thought about various things: I could now not say that I've never vomited outside of illness (however, I'm not sure that I don't have a flu or something); I haven't vomited more than 6 times cumulatively throughout my life, much less on one day; and, they should use stomach illnesses as a form of interrogation and torture. Wait, I'm sure they do.

All I've safely consumed today was two precious nectarines. So, stop your belly-aching everyone (ha, good pun, Justin).

Number of times the word "vomit" appeared in this post: seven.


  1. Don't go to Thagard! They'll just say you're pregnant.

    Seriously, go see a doctor, man. You don't just woof up 6 times for no good reason. Are you sure you didn't have 15 Bloody Marys for breakfast?

  2. Anonymous3:59 PM

    I don't like the word vomit. I prefer up-chuck, puke, ralph, or barf. Or how about blow chunks??