During the Oscars, there was a raccoon on our porch.
We live in an apartment.
On the third floor.
I was by myself in the living room, watching the Oscars in the dark. I kept hearing stuff going down, and kept thinking one of my roommates was home. During a commercial I caught sight of the beast.
I think those bottles have something to do with it.
...You're the raccoon, Spoon.