Monday, March 26, 2007


This crap pretty much rules everybody's face. Only thing is the commercial breaks -- I'm never going to open a bank account at Bank of America. Watch Planet Earth the next few Sundays on Discovery Channel at 8 p.m. -- they'll probably have the first segments on during the week, too. (It's narrated by Sigourney Weaver!)

Monday, March 19, 2007

Jobs, etc.

I thought about quitting my job for a full hour today. How to do it most poignantly, that I probably won't have an opportunity to quit any jobs later, since I'll need them for sustenance, how it would ruin the section entirely, etc. Yesterday they announced that the owner of the paper shot down the idea of a fake news issue (though everyone on staff at our "student-run" newspaper was truly excited at the notion), but that wasn't what pushed me over.

This is what did it this time. I wrote, without exaggeration, the BEST headline of my career, "Japanese police announce possible nuclear threat," and some dipshit changed it to "The Police Club set to play on campus Tuesday," which renders the following subhead line totally redundant and useless.

Read the fucking article, losers. It's about TOKYO POLICE (Japanese police) Club OPENING (announcing) for COLD WAR (nuclear standoff -- BOOM BOOM) Kids. NO ONE is going to see that headline (in the Arts & Life section) think that it's REAL (next to a picture of a group of guys holding a red flag and bubble gun) and AVOID reading the article about it. Then again, I guess I shouldn't put anything past our average reader here...

Loser 1: Dude, there's going to be a nuclear war!!!
Loser 2: Really? Where'd you hear that?
Loser 1: Our student newspaper.
Loser 2: Damn, then it MUST be happening! When's it going down?
Loser 1: Dunno, I didn't read about it, I just saw the headline.
Loser 2: Cool.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

What, Wilco?

"The band Wilco have officially decided to preview their new album in it's entirety, tomorrow night." -- March 10 post

I can't believe I missed this crap by ONE DAY. Oh well, I guess there are outlets for this ... music.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Ah, Val.

O Valencia

I think it's kind of stupid that the video that won the contest came from a guy who works for a company that makes music videos for bands. He probably wasn't even a fan of the band, but just saw about the contest.

Regardless, I think it's a lot better than this:

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Fake news hits FSU.

The possibility of having an entire issue of the school paper as a fake news, Onion-esque endeavor has me jumping with joy. I sent out an email to everyone on staff with the idea and didn't hear back from anyone. Today, I brought it up in a meeting and everyone was all for it -- even my boss. Now all we have to do is put it past the owner of the paper.

If this thing flies, I'm going to wreak havoc on everyone and everything. The real problem I'll have is trying to pick out the best ideas from my mental list of ever-growing gold nuggets.